Imagine your body has no bones, and lie on the couch and when you need to get a drink you roll off the couch and fall on the floor and keep rolling until you get to the fridge and find a damp puddle near the fridge and lick it up through the side of your mouth, and when you have to piss, just go in your underwear, and when you have to shit, just go in your underwear and just wallow in your shit and piss for the afternoon in your filth, and when your wife gets home, tell her you have no bones, so you couldn't do anything today.
Or you can get a pair of dice. Walk out your front door, no matter what you are wearing and when you come to an intersection, roll the dice. If the number is four or less you go left, if the numbers eight or less you go straight and if the numbers twelve or less, you go right. If you have to piss or shit, don't bother finding a bathroom, just go right there. Just keep going until you get hungry. When you get hungry, run up to the nearest human, man, woman or child and try to mug them for their money. And if you can find someone you can steal way their car, then repeat the same thing with the dice in the car. Or you could break into a house and eat whatever's in their cupboards, and take anything you think you could sell. Then run away hopefully before the cops come. If they come, just lie on the ground and let them arrest you, and plead guilty and when you get to jail, then you will be fed, and your clothes will be washed, and you can watch tv or whatever.
That's just a couple of ways to avoid housework.
No comments:
Post a Comment